Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
Poonam Pandey to strip if Real Madrid win the champions league
Model and wannabe page 3 regular Poonam Pandey has offered to strip if Real Madrid win the UEFA champions league next season. Reacting to the news, President of the football club Florentino Perez said – “Why not? Nothing else seems to be working. I am open to this experiment.” It is reported that Ms. Pandey had initially approached AC Milan with her offer. She is understood to have backed out after AC Milan Prez. Silvio Berlusconi insisted that winning the champions league should not be a pre-condition to ladies stripping in his presence. The Real Madrid squad met the offer with mixed reactions. Cristiano Ronaldo was unfazed, and stated that he doesn’t need to win anything to get women to strip. The statement was accompanied with a customary wink from the ace forward. However, others such as Karim Benzema were particularly excited, and have been training hard to ensure that they stay on the team for the next season.
CBI ropes in Bollywood for potential interrogation of David Headley
In anticipation of a likely opportunity to interrogate ISI stooge David Headley, the CBI has roped in bollywood stars to help inflict pain on the terror suspect. It is understood that the CBI will enlist the services of Fardeen Khan and Emraan Hashmi for this purpose. “We are confident that Headley will share the needed information within seconds of Fardeen recreating his introduction sequence from the movie Jansheen”. A CBI sleuth who requested to remain anonymous stated. “In order to be doubly sure about the potency of the performance, we have invited Subhash Ghai to direct Fardeen Khan for this interrogation”. The US department of state, however, expressed concerns regarding the proposed interrogation technique. “We do not support such blatant abuse of human rights” a spokesperson for the US government said. Headley himself is believed to be aware of the credentials of the said Bollywood icons, and has petitioned the US government to send him to Guantanamo bay instead.
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