My father turns 57 today. The relationship that I share with him, although full of admiration which is mutual and obvious, is not completely devoid of complexity. Both of us like to keep our reserve. I do not know if I inherited this trait from him, or developed it on my own. A quick calculation leads me to conclude that exactly 50% of the people in my family are cynical. There must be some degree of genetics to it.
Anyways, as a consequence of our insistence on cynicism, our conversations over the last twelve years or so have mostly been about cricket and politics, punctuated by formal exchanges of pleasantries. Not all interactions need to be articulated out loud. Some are subtle. The subtle ones, I have come to experience, help shape character and thought. I am grateful to my father for the subtle interactions.
I don’t ever recall him trying to push his opinions and preference down my throat. Although, he is opinionated in some ways. I have come to appreciate the liberty I was offered to explore my own way of life. It took 15 minutes for me to convince him that I can never pursue a career in science. He agreed to let me study commerce instead, with a subtle warning that I must own my actions and decisions from that moment on. He is not entirely a liberal, but he is much more liberal than his parents. The zeal for exploration that he passed on to me has resulted in me being more liberal than my parents. If this trend continues, my kids will grow up to become Mormons and Raelians.
He taught me the importance of family, not through lectures but through gestures. He stoically supported his father in his old age. He loves his siblings in the same reserved manner that he loves his kids in, but the communication is never lost. He offers these displays of value, at times bordering on courage, for nothing but a sense of having done one’s duty. I guess such behaviour is not uncommon, but I have to acknowledge the source of my education.
He educated me on cricket, the sport I love and live by. He educated me to educate myself, and I educated myself on rock and roll, alcohol, cigarettes and depression among other things (I strongly recommend the first and the last items on this shortlist). He taught me never to pass on negativity. He taught me to keep my temper in check. He taught me that freedom is the greatest possession one can strive for. He initiated me into freedom, to the degree that his means could allow. That itself was more than what he ever had. The Launchpad must get firmer and bigger with each passing generation. In that sense, he initiated me into evolution. He continues to teach me.
This note is typical of us. I am writing this as a tribute on his birthday. I have no intention of sharing it with him. It will be odd. There is no need for it. He is already proud of his work and accomplishment. So am I.
Here’s wishing him a very happy birthday. I look forward to more interactions on cricket and politics, and more lessons in evolution. He is a good man.
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